Tips on dealing with your boss

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Story: 1
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

“Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left.

Can you make this thing work?” Certainly,” said the young executive.

He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO. As his paper disappeared inside the machine. “I just need one copy.”

Lesson I – Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything

Story: 2
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window: “I want to open a damn checking account.”

To which the astonished woman replies: “I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?” “Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account right now!” “I’m very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank.” Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her problem customer.

They both return and the manager asks the old geezer: “What seems to be the problem here?” “There’s no damn problem, sonny,” the elderly man says. “I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!” “I see,” says the manager thoughtfully. And you’re saying that this bitch here is giving you a hard time?”

Lesson II – If you are RICH, you can get away with almost anything.

Story: 3

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, “What kind of ese are you?”

Confused, the Japanese replied, “Sorry but I don’t understand what you mean.”

The American repeated, “What kind of -ese are you?” Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, “What kind of -ese are you…Are you a Chinese, Japanese,Vietnamese!, etc……???”

The Japanese then replied, “Oh, I am a Japanese.” A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of ‘key’ was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, “What do you mean what kind of ‘-key’ am I?!” The Japanese said, “Are you a Yankee, donkey, or monkee?

“Lesson III – Never insult anyone.

Story: 4

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, a British and a French, who found this small genie bottle.

When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared.

Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, “Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true.”The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted “WINE”. The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine.

The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian’s turn, he did the same and shouted,” VODKA” and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, “BEER”. He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the British. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, SHIT!!!!!!!………”

Lesson IV – Think twice before you say something, because sometimes what you say accidentally does happen.


Proton Satria Neo


The Satria Replacement Model – aka as ‘SRM’ – is a model which the public has known about for at least 2 years and numerous spy shots have been taken of it (strangely Proton’s Head of Legal has never made good the threat to sue anyone showing pictures of its prototypes) and it was to have been launched in the final quarter of 2005. That was what the former CEO had said but 2005 ended with no SRM to be seen in the showrooms. Apparently, the launch date was postponed because a review had been made around the middle of 2005 and changes were needed in certain areas because they had been too ‘personalised’. It was also very clear that build quality was a serious issue with customers and it had to make sure the new Satria would arrive in showrooms without parts getting loose or breaking. So extra effort was put in to ensure higher quality and this required a bit more time. The Savvy had turned one corner in terms of build quality and it was very important that the next model prove that this could be maintained.

Today, the SRM finally gets launched as the Satria Neo, eleven and a half years after the first generation made its debut. Actually, the first Satria was not originally a Proton project; it had been developed as an initiative by USPD, then a joint-venture between Proton and DRB (today, USPD is part of Proton and called Proton Edar). The initiative impressed the PM (then) so much and won USPD the right to become a second Proton channel (besides EON) which would sell ‘sporty’ models like the Aerobacks, Putra, Satria and the short-lived Tiara. In fact, USPD was so ambitious that it even made the Satria and Tiara itself at the DRB plant in Pekan, Pahang, rather than at Proton’s factory.