June 8th, 2006 | |
Posted in soccer

Dear Wife,
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the
newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World
Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to
do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally
ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any
exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will
loseit (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind,
as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you
decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on
right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the
doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a
refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you
expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the
fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please
do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the
games.. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV in the afternoon,
unless they replay a good game that I missed.
6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is
losing, DO NOT say “get over it, its only a game”, or “don’t worry,
they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and
I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football
than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a
divorce.
More »